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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29696385">You Should Be Sad</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/simsadventures/pseuds/simsadventures'>simsadventures</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Feels, Cheating, F/M, Fluff, Heartbreak, Smut, Swearing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:54:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,012</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29696385</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/simsadventures/pseuds/simsadventures</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When your laptop breaks down, you ask Steve if you could borrow his. And you find out the ugly truth about the beloved supersoldier.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sam Wilson/Reader, Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>205</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Of course your laptop needed to break down just as you were finishing the assigned job Tony relegated to you some days ago. It was an older model, sure, but you really thought it would be ok working with Tony’s crazy new software ideas. And while he insisted that you should get a new one, you didn’t relent. You were used to that one particular notebook, and you thought it worked wonderfully. Well, wasn’t that wonderful now that the black screen stared back at you, no sign of life coming from the compact machine. <br/>
You were long past the screaming at the blankness in front of you and even longer from the hot tears streaming down your face. You were smart enough to save everything on the Cloud, so you knew the work wasn’t lost. The only thing you needed now was just access to any computer you could get your hands on, which, at that moment, was your boyfriends shiny new Macbook you gave him for his birthday. </p><p>But Steve wasn’t there. He had been on a mission for the last few days, somewhere in the middle of Argentina, trying to get to some terrorists holding people hostage in an old warehouse, apparently. You didn’t know if you could even call him or not because you weren’t sure how the mission was going since he hadn’t called you for God knows how long. <br/>
It was a new feeling, not really having information about him, or, at least, none coming directly from him. You wanted to know he was safe, wanted to be sure that your heart wouldn’t break, and the only thing keeping you from that was Friday, who was keeping you informed with their status at least once a day. <br/>
And since he wasn’t picking up his phone either way, as it was probably shoved at the bottom of his bag, which, for a change, was shoved at the very back of the quinjet, there was no possibility of reaching him through the usual channels. So, you did the next best thing. <br/>
“Friday? Please, contact Captain Rogers to ask if I can borrow his laptop for work,” you assigned to the AI and went and got yourself a fresh cup of tea to do something while you waited for an answer. <br/>
“Agent Y/L/N, Captain Rogers says you may,” you heard the AI’s voice through the speaker in the kitchen and did a little dance walking back to the living room so you could finish your job and finally relax after an exhausting week. <br/>
You knew Steve’s password since you came up with it yourself: AmericasAss111. You smirked as you typed it in, and when the laptop came to life, you sighed happily, looking through the Cloud for the one particular document you needed. It was then that you saw that Steve received an iMessage. You didn’t want to pry on his privacy because you felt sure in your relationship, and if you had any doubts, you would be the first person to talk about it with Steve and not with his computer. <br/>
But then another message came, followed by other two, and the curiosity got the better of you. The only thing you did was glance at the top right corner of the screen to see the name.</p><p>
  <em>Sharon</em>
</p><p>You frowned a little bit since you knew they were together on that mission and didn’t really see the point of them texting when they could just talk. Weird. <br/>
When the next one came, you actually caught a glimpse of the message itself, and your heart clenched. <br/>
<em>Come to my room and show me, big boy. I’m all ready for you.</em><br/>
This was followed by a photo, and you gulped audibly, your work long forgotten. This couldn’t have been happening. Not to you. Steve wouldn’t do this, you tried to reason with yourself, telling your brain to calm down because this was all a misunderstanding. Maybe Sharon really did need help with something, and Steve, ever the gentleman, promised to take a look at the problem. You nodded and wanted to dismiss it, but your hands stopped. <br/>
You needed to be sure you were right; you needed to calm yourself enough to know that there was no doubt about your relationship that would bubble over in time. So, despite promising yourself not to ever do it, you opened the iMessage icon at the bottom of the panel bar. <br/>
A shiver ran down your spine as your eyes skimmed the few back-and-forth lines, and before you knew it, you were running towards your bathroom, making it just in time as you doubled over and hurled the content of your stomach to the toilet. You were gripping the seat so hard you were afraid you would break it any moment. </p><p><em>No, no, no, no.</em><br/>
You didn’t see much, but from the little you saw, you knew that your naive attempt at saving your own heart was useless as Steve didn’t think of you at all. Or, better yet, he thought of you but not in the sense you wanted him to. <br/>
When you felt calm enough to stand, you washed your face and cleaned your teeth before you gathered the courage to come back to the computer. You opened the messages and read them again. <br/></p><p>
  <em>Sharon: Have a sec? I need you. That big dick is missed greatly!<br/>Steve: Fuck baby, I'm all hard for you and that tight pussy of yours already.<br/>Sharon: Come and show me, big boy. I'm all ready for you.<br/>Steve: I need to be inside you now, before we get back home!<br/>Sharon: Oh yeah, that boring bitch of yours won't even take you the way you need, baby! Hurry up and fuck me like only you can, Steve! You can choke me as hard as you need! Fuck, I'm playing with myself thinking of that big dick. HURRY UP!<br/>Steve: Coming! Don't you dare cum without my dick inside you! </em>
</p><p>There were so many more—all just like these most recent ones. You scrolled and scrolled as the tears rolled down your face, staining your skin with their salty routes, all leading to your shattered heart. <br/>
You found a video, and while you knew or guessed what images it would show, you played it anyway, the sadist in you telling you to just find out everything before your final meltdown. Pressing play, you hugged your middle to stop your body from shaking, but nothing could help you now. <br/>
The video showed Sharon’s face contorted in pleasure, the video obviously taken by Steve, who was relentlessly fucking into his colleague, calling her his dirty whore, his beautiful baby and other names that you just couldn’t stomach. The next images were of Steve’s cock, pulling out of Sharon as he smeared his cum all over her stomach, laughing darkly as she sighed happily. <br/>
You scoffed and finally allowed yourself to shut the computer, tossing it across the sofa. </p><p>So, this is what a real heartbreak feels like, you thought to yourself as the dams finally broke and the waterfalls freely flowed from your eyes. You were wailing, you realised, but there was no way to stop the broken sounds coming from your mouth even if you tried.<br/>
Images of your life with Steve flooded your brain as you thought back to all the times you thought the two of you were in love and happy. All the stolen kisses, all the promises he had made to you, all of it was gone now. You valued honesty, above all else, and Steve knew that. Hell, he even told you he felt the same way and that people who were dishonest to their loved ones were all scumbags to him. <br/>
Was nothing he ever told the truth? When did it start, and what did you do wrong? And, how in the hell didn’t you notice anything? <br/>
Questions, your brain was full of them, but the answers didn’t come. He might have been fucking her for months, laughing at you behind your back, and you might have never found out, hasn’t it been for your broken laptop. </p><p>The way he let her call you a boring bitch and do nothing against it, even agreeing with her, that stuck to your brain, apart from the images of your boyfriend screwing another woman. Your boyfriend, your sweet, loving boyfriend. You sobbed so hard you shook violently as you imagined your Steve, the man you fell in love with all those years ago. <br/>
He never complained when it came to your love life, and you often asked him if you should try this or that, but he would always blush and tell you that he was happy with things as they were. Right, you scoffed and shook your head. He ripped your heart out, and there was no coming back. <br/>
You lied there on the sofa, curled into a ball for hours, just crying and reminiscing about your past life, long gone, just like your relationship. You could have forgiven him many things, but not this. Never this, and he knew it, yet he still fucked her. You often told him that you could never forgive him for cheating, and he would assure you time and time again that he wouldn’t break your heart the way your ex did. </p><p>And he was right. Steve broke it so much harder because it came as a shock. At least with Matt, you knew the relationship was shitty, and when you found him in your shared bed with the secretary of his, there was a part you that expected it. Still, it took you months to get over it.<br/>
Steve knew all this and promised to cherish and love you till death did you part. Lying, cheating bastard, you swore under your breath as you found the last remnants of your strength to get up and become a rational human being once again. <br/>
Looking around the living room, there were signs of your shared life everywhere. Photos on the wall, teddy bears Steve would bring you at the very start of your relationship, the collage you made for him for your 3-year anniversary, and so much more. You wanted to look out of the window, but since it was pitch-black outside, the only thing the window reflected was your own body. And you looked like a shell of a person, too weak to even stand. He did this to you, you smiled bitterly and walked towards the bedroom. <br/>
But you stopped on the threshold, realising that there wasn’t a way in hell you would sleep in that bed. Not again. You couldn’t because the bed smelled like him, felt like his embrace you missed so much and would never feel again. So you turned back around and marched towards the sofa, laying down and covering yourself with one of the lighter blankets, you fell into an uneasy sleep full of nightmares. Only this time, they weren’t nightmares; they were the reality. <br/>
—-</p><p>You looked around the house, checking if you left anything there you wanted to take with you, and when you found that you grabbed everything you needed, you shut the door of the moving truck, letting the guy know it was ok to bring your stuff to the address you had given him. <br/>
It was Sunday afternoon, and you told Natasha what had happened, who suggested you moving out immediately, and she even insisted on you moving back to the Tower. It wasn’t much, and you knew you would look for a place of your own, but you needed to get out, and so you agreed. She and Clint helped you with all the packing, wiping your tears and trying to bend your heart even though they knew it was useless. <br/>
Clint volunteered to kick Steve’s ass, but you declined. Kicking his ass wasn’t your job anymore. If he had broken a promise, gave you a small lie about something, you might have considered kicking his ass and taking him back, but not like this. Neither of your friends wanted to let you stay there till Steve came back, but you insisted. He deserved to know that you weren’t coming back, and he deserved to be told in person. At least one of you had to be a decent human being. <br/>
So, you sat down on the couch and just waited. It seemed like hours before you heard the key rustling in the lock. You gulped and let him come to you. <br/>
Steve put the key in, and when the door opened, he knew immediately that something was wrong. Terribly wrong. </p><p>The hanger on his right used to carry multiple of your colourful coats and jackets, the shoe holder full of your shoes, but now, they were empty except for a few pairs of his own boots and sneakers. He frowned and looked around the hall to see that the picture of you two beside the sea was taken down as well. <br/>
He didn’t even take the time to take down his shoes as he sprinted to the living room, where he saw you sitting on the sofa, he released a breath. You were there, which was good. <br/>
But the closer he got, the anxiety grew in him. You were unmoving, and while he saw and heard you were breathing, you weren’t the same as he left you when he went to the mission. And when he finally circled the sofa and could see the broken figure in front of him, he choked. </p><p>“My love, what’s going on? Who hurt you? C’mon, talk to me,” he pleaded as he stalked closer to you, and just as he was about to touch you, you jumped from the sofa and put at least 5 feet between the two of you. He frowned and looked around, seeing the place bore no sign of you ever living there with him. <br/>
“Steve, I just wanted to let you know that you are now a free man. I will no longer keep you from doing what you want. Go and be yourself when I was tying you down so much,” you told with as much resolve as you could, building walls around your heart high enough for him to never be able to penetrate them again. <br/>
“What? What are you talking about? I don’t want to be a free man, Y/N, my love. What happened? Did somebody tell you something? If so, it’s all lies, I assure you,” he tried, but you just laughed humourlessly. <br/>
“Do we really have to do this, Steve? We both know what you’re doing behind my back, and all I want to do is get the hell away from here and your lying face. So, we’re done, goodbye,” you said, turning on your heel, but Steve’s hand was faster as he grabbed your wrist, keep you in place. <br/>
“Love, please. Please, whatever you think happened-“<br/>
“What I think happened? I wanted to believe you, fuck, you told me you would never break my heart, and look at us now. I know about Sharon, Steve. I couldn’t even believe you would look at another woman and all this time,” you sobbed and turned around, trying to gather yourself because you really didn’t want him to see you cry. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. </p><p>Steve’s face fell, and his heart clenched. This couldn’t have been happening. He didn’t understand how you could have ever found out. He tried to shield you from it because he knew it was just sex, while you and he had so much more. He needed to salvage the relationship, he just didn’t know how. <br/>
“No, love, please. I love you. Whatever somebody told you-“<br/>
“Nobody told me anything, Steve, don’t you see? When I borrowed your laptop, all those messages, all those videos and photos just jumped in my face. I saw it with my own eyes. And before you say it happened just this once, save your breath. We both know the truth. I hope you respect me enough to not come up with more lies,” you whispered, your eyes trained on the floor. <br/>
Steve was shaking violently. He wanted to say something to defend himself, but he knew this was all his fault. He hurt you more than he had anybody seen hurt you before, and he hated himself with fervour. He didn’t mean for this to happen, and he wanted to stop it many times, but Sharon was an outlet, and he never feared he would hurt her.<br/>
But he loved you, and he couldn’t imagine his life without you in it. You were engraved on his heart, which was now beating like crazy, telling him to just fix the mistake. <br/>
“I made a mistake, my love, but please, let’s talk about it. Please, please, don’t leave. We can work this out,” he touched your face, and for a second, you let him before you shoved him away and wiped the tears that escaped their confines. </p><p>“There is nothing left for you to work out, to fix, Steve. You made your choice, and now I’m making mine. If you loved me the way you used to tell me, you would have never done anything even remotely close to this. But it was all lies, huh? And the boring bitch believed them, swallowed them because I was so fucking in love with somebody way out of my league. But I won’t let you humiliate me, no more, Steve. Go and run to her, who is so good for you in bed,” you spat the last part and watched as Steve crumbled in front of your eyes.<br/>
You could see you stroke a chord with the boring bitch as his face contorted in shame, and, suddenly, he was on his knees in front of you. <br/>
“One more chance, just give me one more chance to show you that I meant every word I said. Please, don’t let a few stupid decisions set the course of our future, Y/N.” <br/>
“There is no such thing as our future, Steve. You are sleeping with another woman. If it happened once, I might have understood, but this kept going on for weeks, and you would have kept going if I didn’t find out. You don’t deserve a second chance. Sharon looks like she is all hot for you, so just be with her and leave me alone, Steve. There is nothing you could say or do to mend what is already broken. I loved you with all my heart, with all my being, and you took it for granted. I won’t offer it to you again only to fear you are going to break me. I deserve better. You might be an Avenger, Captain America and all, but you are nothing but a cheating bastard to me. Goodbye, Captain,” you sighed and walked out of there despite his desperate rumbling. </p><p>There wasn’t a piece of you that regretted what you told him. You were in an insane amount of pain, and you knew you’d be getting over it for years, but that didn’t matter. You wouldn’t let him walk all over you again. <br/>
Steve remained on the floor and was crying heavily. His legs wouldn’t let him follow you as he meant to, and when the door shut behind you, he knew he made the gravest mistake and that he would never be truly happy again. And he knew he deserved all that pain for the agony he had inflicted on you with his actions.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Happy Now</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Steve is miserable without you, while you seemed to have moved on with a much better man.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Steve was in pain. But it was nothing like he used to know. It wasn’t the regular pain in his abdomen when somebody hit him or the pain in his lungs when he ran too much and too fast during a mission. No, this pain had an undetectable source in Steve’s body, but he knew where it came from. You.<br/>	He missed you more than he thought was possible. The day you walked out of the house broke him. He seriously never even thought you would find out about the affair he was having with Sharon, and when the truth came to light, he didn’t have a good enough excuse. Because there was no excuse in this world that would undo what he had done. Steve saw the look in your eyes that day and knew it was over, that there was no amount of apologies he could have given you for you to forgive him. <br/>	Hell, you haven’t even talked to him since then, and it had been more than 8 months now. Steve wasn’t the same after that critical afternoon. He thought he could have it all, but the reality hit him that while he tried to have the best of both worlds, the world crumbled under his feet, and now he was all alone. <br/>	Sharon tried to slither her way in Steve’s bed again, but there was no way in hell Steve would do that again. It was his dick that got him into this mess in the first place, and he didn’t want to think with just this one particular organ anymore. Also, Sharon just reminded Steve of all the things he had lost.</p><p>You were the sun of his days even when he didn’t notice. You would wake up and make him his coffee precisely the way he liked it, you would dance to your favourite songs, and you would just be… you. Nobody could ever compete with that, and Steve cursed himself once again as he walked through the empty kitchen. Your relationship wasn’t built solely on the physical aspect because there was the connection of souls, as you used to call it. Now, Steve’s soul was long missing because its second half was nowhere to be found. <br/>	Well, Steve knew where to find you, but you didn’t want to see him. You made that abundantly clear by first blocking him on all social media, his number and everything you could think of. When Steve persisted, it was time for the Avengers to step in. First, Steve met a very pissed off Clint, who threatened to shove an arrow so far Steve’s ass he could pull it out from his mouth. And more people came by and threatened Steve to stay away from him over the weeks, until, finally, one day, Steve saw you. <br/>	But it was nothing like he imagined. Just thinking of it now made Steve shiver because the coldness in your eyes was heart-shattering. Where once was light and love, was now only emptiness, and Steve could almost touch the walls you have built around your heart. Steve remembered promising you killing anyone who would even dare to hurt a hair on your head, and now he was in a position where he hurt you more than anyone ever did. He hated himself with fervour; he hated Sharon even though he knew if he had just a little more resolve, Sharon and her flirtatious smiles would have no effect on him. But it was his ego that got stroked by her pouty lips and dirty words. He was, once again, the poor boy in Brooklyn who couldn’t get a girl to look at him, and Sharon’s presence strengthened the effect of the serum in his body.</p><p>Steve scoffed and slammed the cup he was holding against the counter so hard it shattered in his hand. If his goddamn ego weren’t a fucking idiot, he wouldn’t be here now. He could have been holding the only person that ever saw past the facade of Captain America and could have been kissing your hair, telling you all the things he wanted for the two of you in future. But there was no future. Just here and now, and all that looked pretty bleak from where he was standing. <br/>	It was when he met Bucky, who was beyond pissed and was swearing like a sailor, that Steve knew the whole squad was on your side, understandably. Steve knew he deserved as much as all the hateful looks and the snide comments whenever he walked into the room. He was supposed to be one of the good ones, and yet not even Tony “Iron Man” Stark had ever made such a shitty decision. And that spoke volumes.<br/>	People still went on missions with him, but when the work was done, everybody gathered, and he was left standing alone. Tony even thought it would be funny to send Steve and Sharon on a mission together when they got along so well, but the vehement insisting from Steve softened Tony’s heart, and he let it go. <br/>	Sharon, however, wouldn’t take no for an answer, and even after eight months, she would still try and get in his bed from time to time. The team hated her so much she didn’t feel comfortable going on missions with them, not too sure that any of them would actually protect her if push came to shove. So, after long consideration, she decided to step away from the Avengers and went to work back for the CIA. Which, of course, didn’t stop her from trying to push for a relationship with Steve. 	<br/>	But she wasn’t you. Steve saw that now and wanted to have nothing to do with Sharon. All he wanted was you, and that was the only thing he could never get back. <br/>—-</p><p>Waking up, you felt warmth on your stomach. You frowned a little bit and tried to think of a reason for it to be so, and then it hit you that it was most probably your boyfriend’s hand splayed on your skin. He was like a furnace, and you often told him you couldn’t wait for winter where you could really use a warm snuggling partner. He would just laugh and kiss the top of your head, promising you he’d be there whenever you needed a personal heater. <br/>	It was like that for months now. After Steve, you thought you wouldn’t be able to find anyone, let alone fall in love with somebody. Yet, here you were, content and warm in your bed with the man you’ve grown to love pressed against your back. <br/>	“Morning, princess,” he murmured into your hair, and you wiggled happily, hearing his voice all husky from the sleep. <br/>	“Morning, handsome,” you whispered back, turning around to face him. His eyes were still closed, but there was a happy smile on his lips, and you couldn’t help but pull a little closer and press your lips against his.</p><p>The smile grew, and he wiggled his brows the way only he knew how. <br/>	“Somebody woke up with a good mood,” he smirked as he kissed you again before he let you lay your head on his shoulder.<br/>	“Ts, my mood is always good when you’re around,” you chastised him playfully, and when you heard that slight chuckle leaving his throat, you had to laugh as well. <br/>	“At your service, ma’am! Hate to do this, but we need to wake up and head to that meeting. I promised Tony we would both be there,” he murmured, and you scoffed and rolled your eyes. <br/>	“But Sam! I don’t wanna,” you pouted like a little child, and Sam tried to kiss the pout away. You wanted to be a bit cheeky, so you pulled him in and deepened the kiss, but your man knew you too well by now. <br/>	“Oh no, princess. You’re not pulling this one again. I got to the meeting 20 minutes late last time, and Tony almost ate me alive. No, no! We’re going, and that’s final. Be a good girl, and we might waste away our afternoon,” he winked at you and smacked your butt before standing up and heading towards the shower. <br/>	You sighed again, really not ready to face the world, but, especially, not really keen on facing Steve. You knew he’d be there. He was still Captain America, whether he was a cheating asshole or not. But, you realised as you laid there silently, you didn’t fear seeing him. A few months ago, you would have trembled knowing he would be in the same room, but now? The only emotion you felt was indifference, and you smiled victoriously.</p><p>Sam was the one you wanted. He was the one who picked up the pieces of your heart and patiently helped you get them back into one. He never pressured you, he was just there. And that was all you needed. You needed stability, you needed to have fun, and Sam offered that and so much more. <br/>	You didn’t even know how you didn’t notice sooner, but you were too enamoured with Steve to see any other guy, really. In a way, you were glad for all that had happened because if it weren’t for that one afternoon, you would be stuck with a man who didn’t appreciate you and thought it was a good idea to cheat on you with a fucking coworker. And while Sam wasn’t perfect, his every action told you what kind of a man he was. <br/>	He was a crazy flirt, but that was it. Deep in your heart, you knew he wouldn’t do what Steve had done, and whenever you were feeling like addressing any remaining fear, Sam was willing to sit down with you and actually have an adult discussion about feelings, unlike your ex. <br/>	You watched Sam as he walked out of the shower, droplets of water still glistening on his body, and you knew this was where you were meant to end up. This man was your haven, and not even Captain Asshole himself could change that. You smiled at Sam as you stood up and walked over to him to just hug him. He chuckled but reciprocated the hug, thinking about how he was the luckiest man alive to have scored a woman like you. And he couldn’t wait to show you off in front of Steve, just to rub it in a little more.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sooo, there actually might be a part three, if you guys like this angsty ride :) x</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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